I have sat down to bang this post out several times over the past few days, each time unsuccessfully. I have come to the same conclusion, conferences, especially creative ones leave me in a state of paradoxical limbo. Do you know what 4 days and 6 hours of surrounding yourself with people who have the same obsession you do for good design will do to a girl?

This…

When my friend Nicole saw this she immediately inquired “why so easy breezy?” I laughed, I told her this is what I look like after a.) sleeping alone in bed b) hanging out with creative souls and of course c) ROOM SERVICE.

I think somewhere along this journey of discovering who I am I lost myself. I lost my smile.  I forgot what it felt like to truly feel like I belong somewhere.

I didn’t really know what to expect attending ALT Summit. Some people told me that this was the conference where the ‘cool kids’ hung out. I won’t lie hearing that might have made me want to attend even more. Who doesn’t want to know what the cool kids are up to am I right? I will tell you that there wasn’t a soul there who wasn’t somewhat nervous or unsure of themselves, OK maybe an exception or two on one of the panelists but for the most part everyone was unassuming and eager to get to know you. Going to these conferences is kind of like the first day of school, you dress a certain way, in my case head to toe J.Crew from the cashmere twin set to the sparkly sequence top.  You get your supplies ready (business cards) you brush your hair and your teeth and you extend and arm and a smile at every stranger that you meet. Its energizing and draining all at the same time. I can tell you I didn’t utter a word the entire trip home. My brain had officially reached its creative max. I just needed to digest a bit before I could handle any more inspiration.

Instead of thinking about what I wanted to blog about first I sat and stared out the window and contemplated the physics that allow a 100,000 pound flying bus to stay aloft. Acknowledging that is wasn’t always this easy for me to be happy at 24,000 feet.

I can hardly believe I was there a week ago, my monolithic suitcase remains packed and taking up most of the family room at this point. I’m not even sure how it ended up there, somewhere between long hugs and digging for presents I simply forgot all about it. Time to pull myself up by the boot straps and embrace this life of mine. Laundry and cleaning may not be as stimulating as sitting in a room with 500 designers but getting it done is the first step I need to take in order to ditch anxiety and cultivate creativity.

Acknowledging the resistance and making that required split second decision to stop whatever it is I am doing ie: blogging, pinning or instagram and RE-ENGAGE has been a hard but crucial lesson. You can see my dilemma, as soon as I step foot in my home I want to drop everything and hide in my office. I want to read every blog I discovered over the past weekend and fill my online shopping cart with books, crafting supplies and more Polaroid film. I can’t think of doing much of anything else.  So my answer to this is to revisit the conference in digestible chunks. I can’t wait to share with you about all the wonderful people I met and the things they are doing to leave this world a better (and prettier) place.