Nov 16 2010

Here Comes The Sun

I had no idea how this first post was going to come about and who would have thought the Beatles would have pulled me out of my hole.

It’s been almost a month since I last wrote a single word. I had been warned about this kind of thing. It wasn’t a case of writers block or losing interest in my blog in fact it was just the opposite. If I had my way I would have sat my computer everyday writing about everything from the new JCREW catalog to the my first taste of basil ice cream but that my friends would just be another distraction.

I will be honest I have spent many a night sitting on the floor of my closet staring at the wall wondering about how I got here and how I am going to get out. During these dark days when I could not find my smile I learned to crave the emptiness. I figure if the emptiness is part if what drives me to my destructive behavior then I better become BFFs with this dark place so I stop running and start dealing with the feelings. One thing that helps me get in touch with these feelings is music.

Yesterday as I opened iTunes looking for my personal Ally McBeal theme song I see this…

the Beatles are FINALLY available on iTunes!!!! I must have let out a scream that was heard around the world. Starting with the Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band album I begin to slowly rediscover all my favorite Beatles songs. Grabbing my newly anointed iPod I left the house dropped off the kids and hit play and first thing I hear is…

Here Comes the Sun

Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it’s all right
It’s all right

As I hear these words my throat aches and my nose starts to tickle and here come the tears. I am so thankful for waterproof mascara and my daughters absorbent lovey she left in the backseat.

Isn’t it amazing the power of a good song? Sometimes they bring me to my knees but other times they breathe new life into me. I mean how can you listen to All You Need Is Love an not smile.

I dedicate this next song to my friends who are always there for me no matter how much I try to go it alone. I have always needed your help.

I love the last line.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody’s help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I’m not so self assured,
Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.

I’m learning that I don’t have to carry the entire load myself moving forward and with help I will regain balance and restore happiness.

Thank you Beatles and and thank YOU for not unsubscribing when the well went dry.

Tags: Beatles, Self Realization

Comments (12)

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Ann, 11.17.10

Nice post girlfriend ;) You know, I popped in yesterday and said to myself 'Damn it, what's going on with the lack of posts!?' We must be on the same wavelength this week! I just posted my latest about how I've been feeling disconnected or disjointed - not in this same context of course, but still frustrating! I'm glad the Liverpoolians were able to help you out of your slump. Coincidentally, I was listening to them over the weekeend while on the treadmill, and singing away. I was at my parents' place - my mom must've been wondering if I'd lost it... quiet then random outbursts of song LOL! Reply
Kimberly, 11.17.10

Always here for you chicka :) Reply
modchik, 11.17.10

Ann I equate this to that first trip back to gym when you have stopped. It was very very hard. And I can throw in a little astrology insight to this as well let just say change is coming :) K my early bird xoxo - u know I need u. Reply
Peggy, 11.17.10

I have been wondering about the quietness. You are right that it is hard to get out of that deep hole by yourself. It is hard to ask for help, but when something comes along to throw us a lifeline, grab it with both hands and hold on. I've been in my own hole, not as deep or as dark this time, but looking for a ray of light always helps. Thank God for the sun. Thanks for another moving post, and please know you are not alone. Reply
- modchik, 11.17.10
  
  Peggy it was one of the hardest ones to write but I knew (like always) people would connect, understand and ultimately be that ray of light that guides me back. Reply
Auntie Les, 11.17.10

Got your back, baby doll! Beatles' music is saturated in something very special...authentic and real all the way just like you! Keep the faith and "Let It Roll," as the late great Devotee George Harrison sings for us! Reply
- modchik, 11.17.10
  
  no surprise George was always my fav :) the words resound within me. Reply
Leslie, 11.17.10

Confronting your fears is a huge step in the right direction. I'm super proud of you, Linz. Peace, growth and hapiness lie ahead. Reply
Steve Bush, 11.17.10

So, I'm with ya. Writing has become a chore. The thoughts come, but I don't get them to the page. I've kept the iPhone voice recorder app on my front page to record some of the thoughts, because if you don't, they evaporate. I'm glad the Liverpool boys could be an inspiration. I've always loved their simpler songs "Here Comes the Sun," "Let it Be," and "Don't Let me Down." Reply
modchik, 11.17.10

oh you all this is so cathartic. The tears are welling up thank you for the virtual support I feel it! Reply
Kathleen, 11.17.10

Let me take you down to Strawberry Fields. Strawberry Fields Forever. Reply
Mariah, 11.19.10

okay, wrong post:) How did I get on this one??? But I am such a Beatles fan and we have all the albums!!! Reply