My head is swimming with ideas lately so much so that it becomes harder and harder for me to filter out the unnecessary and focus in on the good stuff. Its hard for me to even sit here and blog about it because I feel like all these ideas filling up my head leave little or no room for clear well thought out out sentences to take form and what I’m left with is fleeting thoughts of grandeur.
If I only did this.
If I could just get control of this.
If I crank out that project in double time then I’d …. what? have a sense of well being, feel balanced or productive? I have the sneaking suspicion that completing one thing only leads me to start another and so on and so on and so on. The never ending cycle of spinning my wheels. And what’s the fallout? My family sees less of me, I’m always in a rush (resulting in a speeding ticket perhaps?), I miss deadlines and appointments, the clutter starts closing in and the anxiety totally disrupts my sleep cycle and I find myself easting a bowl of cereal (with my husband) at 2am. <– me last night.
I also blame social media and I find I’m a bit of a junkie. Is that like kinda being pregnant? I think so. Ever since I changed my facebook settings so I could see EVERYONE and their mother’s update I have just about effectively made it impossible for me to keep up with facebook now. Same thing goes for twitter, I follow something like 1300 people and I barely utilize the list feature in Tweetdeck so again, another crap shoot I try to just reply to any mentions and jump into convos when I feel what I have to add is relevant. Now tweeting when its an award show that is another story, I LOVE that… the feed (all the tweets) go scrolling down the page in this perpetual forward march its dizzying but for me my ADD brain is most happiest spouting off random tweets like .. “WAIT! is that Jane Fonda’s nipple I see? OMG people gives new meaning to the word Golden Globes!” I think a lot of people were glad I screamed that to the twitterverse and not them. I think I also gained a few new followers too.
And then there’s instagram. Oh boy. It’s like flickr and twitter all rolled up and laced with crack. It’s sooooo good. Instagram was made for me. It feeds my need for spontaneity, social connections and creativity and its all based around photos!! I took that photo below while on a self imposed photowalk around town today.
The beauty of instagram is that normally its hard to connect with some of these big hitters on Twitter who have like 50K followers, but I throw up a photo of my beautiful lattes and they are lightening like 3G FAST with the thumbs up or a comment, instant gratification and connection made, what’s not to love here. But then I find myself wanting more likes and more comments and pining about how I can get discovered on the “Popular” page and before you know it I’m constantly refreshing my screen and the afternoon is well…. G-O-N-E and dinner ain’t gonna go make itself, same goes for paying bills, folding laundry and balancing checkbooks.
This my friends is dangerous territory and this is where I have been finding myself lately.
So I created a 30 day manifesto as to how March was going to go down. I think I completed 4 things so my average here isn’t great in fact at this rate its going to be a complete do over come April. So maybe I better lay off twitter, facebook and limit the amount of shares on instagram. Followed by more office time crossing things off my list and less Googling things like tiger blood and local UFO sightings. *sigh* that reminds me The Event is back on tonight, my boys are hooked. Sidenote: have you noticed all the alien invasion movies lately? Things that make you go hmmmmm. I digress.