It came and left in a fury. I thought I could get it all done turns out I could not. I had to learn to let go of what could not be and accept that the world will not stop spinning if I don’t get everything done before Christmas. This year I worked the same amount of hours but I did, add in a wedding at the end of November followed by a couple family sessions and it may be safe to say I bit off more than I could even chew. I just need to learn to wrap things up and move on but I let myself get lost down the ol’ internet rabbit hole. Once I get hung up in Photoshop I’m off to find a tutorial and then hours later I am still hopping around watching MORE tutorials trying to cram every last bit of PS knowledge than I can fit thinking THIS will make me a better photographer when all it does it pushed me further and further behind on my projects. Must learn to reel myself in or work with a kitchen timer on my desk. This week should have been all about fun, office lunches, neighbors dropping off bottles of your favorite champagne and baking cookies. Instead it felt like a race to get it all done.
And it didn’t get all done.
Cards were finally mailed but that was not without a lot of whining on my part, as I cleared out yet another stack from under the glass top coffee table I found that I had left my holiday card folder right there for 365 days straight. Never to be touched until exactly a year later but when I opened it I did not find my list that I have been hand editing for the past several years. So if you didn’t get a card from me that is why, I lost a third of my addresses. I had to get over that real fast. I told myself I could thin down the list this way and ends up I was right, I received at least a third less cards (trying to not to take that as a personal reflection upon myself.)
I cleaned for what felt like a week and then pulled the ultimate all nighter, standing on the cold ceramic tile floor from 6:30 am Christmas Eve until 3:00 a Christmas Day. I have never felt such sheering pain pulse through my joints. I couldn’t lay down without an Aleve and a heating pad on board. I forget I am not a young mom anymore. I forget how all the sitting this year has absolutely weakened me. But I had to get it all done and I did, all by myself. Its this way every year. I buy everything, I send everything, I wrap everything, I cook everything … its a lot on my shoulders and come Christmas day I am exhausted.
That day I made Mom’s Brisket from Michelle Bernstein’s (Macy’s Holiday Cookbook) I also made the Chef’s mix from that same cookbook << that is such a WINNER recipe you guys!!
I also made Tiramisu. Note the plastic gloves, if you don’t your fingers will soak up the espresso and you WILL NOT SLEEP anytime soon. Trust me on that one.
Around midnight I pulled the Morning Buns from the freezer, unwrapped them, laid a kitchen towel on the counter about the dishwasher and RAN THE DISHWASHER. The result? Eight hours later the fluffiest morning buns to date.
Christmas day I didn’t worry about taking a million photos I just tried to stay awake.
I also opted to take MORE film than digital shots.
Mamiya 645AF | Fujicolor Pro 400h
Polaroid Mio | Instax Mini film
Some of my favorites into a neat little collage.
used copy of Ansel Adams Polaroid Land Photography Manual / Detox Cellulite Seaweed Soap (it exfoliates with coffee grounds!!) // Life Jump Start Sugar Scrub by Life NK (a bit hard to find these days here in the states // Mink Chocolates (favorite chocolate ever after discovering it on this trip) // Orca Coin purse // Handmade decoupage votive candle holder// Flair colored pens // Secrets of Longevity Dr. Mao’s 8-week program psssst…. it ain’t sitting in a chair blogging. // camera ornament from Pottery Barn // Mini Instax photos // Starbucks card // Brighton bracelet // Kate Spade Stationary you should see the envelope lining!! // homemade magnet // classroom ornament // Minion purse – (duct tape + ziploc bag = genius)
My husband and I exchanged gifts, sorta. He asked if there was a new lens or something else I wanted for my camera but I told him everything on my list was too pricey. I opted for a new iPhone 6 which is none too shabby, but of course comes with its own set of issues which don’t crop up until a few weeks later so you’ll have to check back during Week 2 when I am rudely awakened to the fact that I am a slave to technology.
On her list this year? A big box of crayons. Not a iTouch, not and American Girl a big box of crayons. I can’t find the words. Also this is the year Santa was called out on a lot of inconsistencies. I just sipped my coffee and nodded. Then I remembered I forgot some gifts and went running into the laundry room scaling the cabinets for the box I forgot.
I am my mother’s daughter.
Christmas at my sisters house. She made a beautiful roast and made THE BEST scalloped potatoes from Cook’s Illustrated. << I think this is the recipe she used.
The rest they say is history and I’m going to leave it there. Whatever stresses I had during this week and the days following are no longer looming and are safely tucked away only to be resurrected next Christmas. I go to bed feeling not so great about the holidays and wonder why I never do anything but pine away every season. For this reason I stepped away from the blog for almost a month because everything I typed was laced with resentment and bitterness. Not really the way I want to end the year OR THE PROJECT (this is the last week for 2014 *throws confetti**) for that matter.
Here’s to no resolutions but continued growth by seeing and trying new things in the coming year. Start your own Burn & Float ritual and get out those magazines and revamp (or start) your Vision Board.
Manifest happiness in your life.
That’s my wish for you.