2005 – the Preggo Modchik
When I started back in 2005 there were very few people posting the unscripted play by play account of their trials and tribulations. I was in my late thirties, working full time, spending weekends on the little league field with my husband and 8 yr old. son.
Life was good.
Two years had passed since my emergency laparoscopy (ectopic pregnancy) but deep inside the urge to have another child still grew. In my search for pregnancy loss support I found Toni Weschler, author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and the website/community Ovusoft, now called Ovagraph. They became part of my first online community.
At the time DH (dear husband as we called them on the boards) already eleven years further down the path, had other ideas. On his vision board where photos from Conde Nast and Vacation Dream Homes, a far cry from mine torn from the pages of Family Circle and Fit Pregnancy.
Trying for another baby was a conversation I stuffed way down deep afraid the answer would not be one that I wanted to hear so I started writing.
Then the unexpected happened, we had unprotected sex which lead to my first post:
For the next nine months I posted all about the ups and downs (morning sickness) of my pregnancy. It was a nice little corner of the internet where I could post updates for my friends and share the journey with them.
Funny I just noticed as I update this, her countdown ticker is still ON.
2010 Modchik 2.0
In 2009 it was clear I had too many balls in the air, nothing felt right or good with the world. My work suffered and so did my relationship with my 3 year old. I needed downtime. I quit my job and bought a camera and hired a web designer. Six months later on the eve of Spring Equinox, I launched Modchik 2.0, all grown up with its own URL.
I had a good run with the site but there was something holding me back from taking it to the next level. I wanted nothing more than to become an “influencer” but monetizing the blog meant filling it with ads for barbeque sauce and laundry soap. There was the photography business too. Then Instagram moved in and well you know what happened then.
As they say a picture is worth a thousand (or 10,000 in my case) words, blogs quickly were replaced by hashtags. And who could compete with double taps and hearts? I was defeating I tell you.
Then came 2012, the summer of cataclysmic change. One hot afternoon as we swam with my sister’s family in their backyard pool, my just turned 9 year old niece suffered sudden cardiac arrest, leaving her without the use of her limbs or her speech. My recount of that day is here and you can read my sisters words over on Lily’s website. I will tell you, this kind of reading is not for the faint of heart.
At this point I decide there isn’t really much that matters besides human life. No recipe or DIY post about anything could motivate me to get back to the keyboard. That December I decided it was time to get a paying job and within a few weeks I was hired by a company who help drive web traffic to one of the top shopping sites in the country by partnering with influencers. So instead of becoming one, I work for them.
7… 8… 9… 10 years later I’m still there.
This year would bring even deeper change. My marriage was in the process of unravelling and I decided it would be an excellent time to get a tattoo (RIP Prince.)
Followed by an unplanned knee surgery.
I resurfaced that summer posting a piece titled Resistance after I had completed a 6 week course on self love hosted by Martha Beck and Deepak Chopra, called The Quest.
The course had a profound impact on me and inspired me to dig deeper. Within a few weeks of completing the course I enrolled in Martha’s Coaching program, Wayfinders.
Little did I know that this was only the beginning of what would become a process of dissolving not only every limiting belief I had about myself but my marriage too. By the end of the year we had a lot of decisions to make and yet I felt like someone else was making decisions based on what was best for them, not us.
2017 aka Dumpster Fire
I said it in my post Learning Curve Ahead I was not prepared for the complete metamorphosis. Are you ever really?
Our marriage unraveled, husband moved out, new puppy moves in, water line breaks and I lose my entire kitchen, dining room and 2 year old wooden floors to black mold.
I resurface to announce I’m pulling the plug on the Modchik in favor of launching a coaching website. If you are reading this then I guess it’s suffice to say that didn’t happen. Call it apathy or lack of priorities, I’m still funding this blog until I find the courage to delete it all.
If you are reading this I still haven’t cut the cord.
What I don’t write about is my renewed love for spirituality especially astrology. I drop out of social media and into my books. I buy a plane ticket for Peru to study the cosmos and work with the local q’ero (shamans). It feels like learning a new language. 2018 feels like stepping onto a threshold, somewhere where the past meets the present.
This year has been about family. Our son just turned 22, the youngest now a teenager and the blog is almost a decade old. Look how young they were when I started this site.
I spend most of my time working squeezing in monthly trips to Florida to spend time with my father who is in treatment. My cooking skills are being thoroughly utilized and I’m happy to be able to do that for him.
In true lurker fashion I made my annual appearance this past weekend on the blog. I have found happiness in the simple things like making making tie dyed shirts and binge watching Stranger Things (Season 1 is still the best.)
My focus for the future is finding that work/life balance and having more contact with the outside world. I want to come out from behind the screen and connect with people who are in the same search for adding meaning back into their lives.
In the fall I will be writing a monthly astrology column for a holistic wellness newsletter. Looks like I will also be teaching an Intro to Astrology class as well. If you want more information or you are interested in a chart reading please email me at Lindsey (at) lgastrology.com or sign up for email announcements below:
I hope you are enjoying your summer however you define that … taking a dip in the pool, swimming the ocean, reading a new book or if you are like me eating all the ice cream! Either way here’s hoping you find that sweet spot.
Lots of love to you my readers,
Update – March 2020 oh my ….. I did not see this coming. Well maybe a little bit according to the planets. I just launched my website lgastrology.com and a new community called Cosmic Circle, its free, join us here.